I recently had a discussion with a friend about the nature of friendship and she asked "What are you looking for in a friend?"
Seems like a simple question, and maybe it is, but it got me thinking.
There are some basic qualities that I think would be good: smart, a good sense of humor, thinks I'm fabulous, for starters.
But then I thought about what an ideal friendship would look like and how it would feel. Let me just add here that I have a wide circle of friends but some are more satisfying than others. Some are disappointing and frustrating. Friendships also seem to ebb and flow with the tides of life. So I thought about those moments and those people where friendship was at its best.
Here's what I came up with: I want to feel safe to share myself, my thoughts, my feelings, my anxieties with someone who will hear what I say without judgment and maybe without even offering advice (unless I ask for it). And I want to be the sort of friend who does the same for them.
What's this have to do with spanking? Maybe not much. Sorry. But there are still all those free spanking stories listed above so if that's what you came here for today you can still get your fix. :)
Or maybe it does have a lot to do with spanking. I like the anonymity of being Celeste Jones and I'm unlikely to share my writing life with any more people in my real life than I have already. But that begs the question---if I were to tell the people in my life, how would they react?
Admittedly, I am sometimes surprised by people, but overall, I think my friends would fall into one of three different categories.
1. Enthusiastic and supportive: That's great. What can I do to help? These are those safe people mentioned above.
2. Not sure how to react or what to think: Hmmm. That's interesting. They may never mention the subject again and might try to pretend they never heard me tell them. Or they might broach it again in the future because they are curious or they've mulled it over a bit and have decided that I am still the same person they knew before.
3. Horrified, shocked, repulsed. We can't be friends any more. Whether they come right out and say it or simply fade away from my life, their world has been rocked beyond repair.
I've decided to spend more time with the people in category 1 and to nurture those relationships. I'll still spend time with folks in category 2 and even the 3s, but even without telling them anything about being a naughty spanking stories writer, I know these friendships just won't be as satisfying because I have to be careful to edit out a significant part of my life---a part of my life that I find very satisfying and engaging.
What about you? What do you think makes a good friend?